A Very Good Friday Indeed

No sooner had Cynthia woke up than she started vomiting. The dilauded from last night has worn off and the nausea, and debilitating migraine pain came rushing back full force. Only now we have one less arrow in our quiver as we may be pregnant. Last night we tested positive. But knowing what I do about tests and results I know that a positive pregnancy test does not men a viable life. It could be an ectopic pregnancy that cannot be taken to term. It could be a stillborn fetus. Suddenly all those dinner conversations with Ross and Lisa pour back into my exploding brain. Meconium happens, I remember them saying and laughing. I want to laugh now, I really really do, but my brain is too full of worry and wonder. I worry about all the meds Cyn has had to take for her headaches during the weeks we didn't know we were pregnant. I worry that she is never going to make it through the morning sickness. I wonder how on earth I can be a Dad? I wonder if we'll be ready in time and if this is really happening. If I was physically able, I'd help my beloved drive the porceline bus. But my surgery years ago has made that a physical impossiblity.

Finally we are able to get through to her OBGYN, who can squeeze us in at 1:30. 12 hours after Dr. Carmody first told us the test was positive. I smile at the numerology. I scoop my nauseated, pained and very nervous companion and pour her into the car. The 5 minute drive seems like hours as my mind races. Could this really be happening? No way! I'm not scared, just incredulous. I'm also cautious. My friends and family have had to deal with miscarriages and Cynthia is a prime candidate given her conditions. I chuckle to myself as I wonder when this might have taken place. I know it wasn't this week as we just had a blowout and hadn't gotten to the make up sex yet. A car cutting in front of me, making a right hand turn from the left lane yanks my attention back to the immediate. I turn into the parking lot and help Cyn out of the car and up to the office.

The Dr.'s Office is under construction, fitting I think to myself. We sign in and wait. Tons of magazines to leaf through. I glance at the other women waiting, some obviously pregnant. Others strikingly slim. Everyone seems genuinely glad to be there. Finally they call us back and she takes us in to the sonogram room. Cyn crawls up on the table and she spreads the gel on her belly. Cyn laughs as the temperature tickles her. She waves her wand and points us to the image on screen. It looks like a black and white TV with horrible reception. As if it was in the basement and the rabbit ear antenna have been replaced by a wire hanger. And yet, I can make something out.

It looks like a peanut, no a potato. Wait! Did the potato wave? Is the peanut kicking? Oh My God! I can see a head, and hands and feet! Oh My Dear God there is something active and alive in Cynthia. Its swimming or dancing or something. Whatever it is its active!

BRAT-BRAT-BRAT-BRAT-BRAT-BRAT-BRAT-BRAT-BRAT

When I heard the heartbeat for the first time, time stood still. I heard her say something about it being 175 beats per minute and being firmly lodged in the left horn of the uterus. But that was way in the background. What was in the forground was only one thought. "Its True!" In that instant my life flashed before me. The first 21 years of my life I was an adult in kid clothing. The next 21 I flipped and enjoyed an extended second childhood. But in that instant I grew into an adult. In that moment when my son/daughter first let me know they were coming I left childhood behind and first embraced fatherhood.

I reached for Cynthia's hand and looked at her with eyes full of love. We are going to be parents!!! November 9 is our due date as we are already 10 weeks pregnant!!!! This amazing story just keeps getting more amazing. All births are special but this baby is truly a miracle. I'm still not sure I know why we have been so blessed. I can finally exhale as the truth settles in. We're having a baby. We're having a baby. We're having a baby!!!!!!

Really? Really? Really!

"Doc, this one is different. I don't want you to just drug her."

That was my exhausted exaultation on our second ER visit in as many nights. Cyn has suffered with Migraines all her life. She says she remembers getting them as young as 4. In the two plus years we've been together, I've helped her weather through many migraine storms. Thankfully many of them were cut off at the pass, before they would debilitate her for an evening. Hot showers, cold compresses, dark rooms, soft music, aromatherapy, massage, caffiene, and even sex are treatments we would use to stop the piercing pain and pounding agony.

When those home remedies fail, our next step is to take her to the ER. There they would treat her first with anti-inflammatory and anti-nausea meds and if that didn't bring relief, they would give the narcotics. The narcotics would make her loopy, but also make her drowsy so she could sleep the headache off. Once she awoke, she would be as good as new.

Tuesday night, April 11, the migraine started. Nauseated, she was vomiting twice an hour. Thankfully she was able to find enough relief to fall asleep that night. But when she arose Wednesday morning, the headache was waiting, as was the nausea. The only thing worse than vomiting with a migraine, is not vomiting; as the dry heaves intensify the pain. Which was now so intense, she stayed home from work. By Wednesday night, she still hadn't been able to keep anything down and all our home remedies and meds had failed us. So we headed in to the ER at Suburban once again.

There they took us right in and went through the usual dance. No response to the toridol, but the Reglan took away the nausea. Time for the dilauded to work its magic, which it did. By the time they released us at 3:30 Thursday morming, Cyn was in La La land. So much so, she wanted food. Reflecting back, giving in to her cravings and hitting a 7-11 at that time may not have been the wisest move on our part. But I was just glad to have her back among the land of the living. With a full belly and a bloodsystem full of narcotics, she fell fast asleep as soon as her head hit her pillow.

Once again, Mr. Migraine was waiting to wake her, violently. Another rushed flight to the bathroom reinforced the poor culinary decision we had made a few hours before. More nausea, more pain, once again she called in sick to work and buried herself in our bed. Her head covered in ice packs. Her eyes shut tight making the darkened room even darker. Even two doses of Immitrex couldn't break the grip the migraine had on her.

By the time I got home it was clear she was crashing and hard. So I told her to prepare because were going back to the ER. I explained that we have done all we know to do and it wasn't working, so we needed to turn it over to the professionals who could do more.

The ER was busy, I mean REALLY busy. It wouldn't be until after we left that I saw the full moon. Given all that would happen in the next 4 hours I should have guessed. There were multiple traumas being flown and driven in that night. After triage it took over two hours to get her seen in the ER. When the doc did meet with us in the ER room, I explained to him that this headache was different. That she wasn't able to shed it, even with the home treatments and an ER visit the night before. Dr. Carmody had seen us before, so he nodded his head and ordered a blood panel and CT scan. "Finally" I thought. Now we would see if it was her sinuses or allergies that were triggering this migraine.

Cyn wriggled in her gurney as they tried to find a vein to tap. She was so dehydrated from the nausea that they had to insert the IV in her upper arm. This after failing to find a vein in either arm. Finally the Depacote was flowing into her arm and she was getting some relief.

About two minutes later the tech came in to take her for her CT scan. Amen! Now we'll see what is going on in that head of hers. Instead of being taken back immediately, Cyn had to pee. Amazingly the tech agreed. I wanted to jump out of my seat and demand that he take her now. I mean we are this close to getting some answers, how can she pee at a time like this. Instead they disconnect her IV and I walk her to the restroom. I wave to the tech as we return to the exam room to let him know we're ready. He's busy in another room but nods.

We wait. 10 minutes go by. 20 minutes go by. I walk the unit and see everyone is active, so I try to keep myself calm. Come on people, this lady needs her CT! Why hasn't anyone rehooked up her IV? We're waisting time here! She's just laying there getting no meds and no relief! 40 minutes after the tech first came in Dr. Carmody comes in asking if she's had her CT yet. "No!" I stammer, "they kinda forgot about us."

"Good," he says, "because she is pregnant."

Cynthia hears this and sits straight up. "No! That can't be! I can't ovulate! If you don't ovulate you can't get pregnant! You need to check those results again. No way! You've got to test my pee too." Her eyes are WIDE open and her voice is firm. Dr. Carmody hears this and immediately backpedals. "You know you may be right, I was looking at a lot of charts. Maybe I got the results mixed up. Let me go check again," he offers.

Cyn looks at me with tears in her eyes. "All my life the docs have told me that I can't get pregnant without medical intervention." I'm still in my side chair, smiling. I'm amazingly calm. The words and the idea of being a father start sinking in and all I can think is "Really?"

Dr. Carmody comes back and simply nods his head. Cyn starts crying joyfully and smiles at me. I hold her close and whisper I love her. He reccomends that we have an ultrasound and see our OB/GYN as soon as possible. He then lets us know that the Depacote is contraindicated during pregancy, as are the intense gamma rays of the CT. Turns out, by peeing and delaying the CT, Cyn is already flexing her Mother's Reflex to protect her young.

We stumble out of the hospital dazed and amazed. We know this is not our own doing. We had decided long ago that we would be happy being the coolest uncle and aunt ever. We had been told that it was impossible for us to get pregnant without IVF or other means. What we know means nothing. As Cyn so often says, Man plans and God laughs. Somehow I have the presence of mind to drive us safely home.

There we talk about the test results and realize that it may not actually be viable. Given her PCOS and Bicorniut Uterus, there is a great chance its an ectopic preganancy and we'll lose it. There is so much to think about, so many changes ahead. And yet, we don't really know what is going on. We need more information, tomorrow (ok, later today) we'll hopefully see the OB and he/she can tell us what is going on.

And so our adventure begins. I peer out the window looking for that bold, bright star over the apartment. As my vision blurs, and sleep finally overtakes me, I swear I caught a glimpse of three guys on camels and sniffed the faint scent of Frankensence.