A Very Good Friday Indeed

No sooner had Cynthia woke up than she started vomiting. The dilauded from last night has worn off and the nausea, and debilitating migraine pain came rushing back full force. Only now we have one less arrow in our quiver as we may be pregnant. Last night we tested positive. But knowing what I do about tests and results I know that a positive pregnancy test does not men a viable life. It could be an ectopic pregnancy that cannot be taken to term. It could be a stillborn fetus. Suddenly all those dinner conversations with Ross and Lisa pour back into my exploding brain. Meconium happens, I remember them saying and laughing. I want to laugh now, I really really do, but my brain is too full of worry and wonder. I worry about all the meds Cyn has had to take for her headaches during the weeks we didn't know we were pregnant. I worry that she is never going to make it through the morning sickness. I wonder how on earth I can be a Dad? I wonder if we'll be ready in time and if this is really happening. If I was physically able, I'd help my beloved drive the porceline bus. But my surgery years ago has made that a physical impossiblity.

Finally we are able to get through to her OBGYN, who can squeeze us in at 1:30. 12 hours after Dr. Carmody first told us the test was positive. I smile at the numerology. I scoop my nauseated, pained and very nervous companion and pour her into the car. The 5 minute drive seems like hours as my mind races. Could this really be happening? No way! I'm not scared, just incredulous. I'm also cautious. My friends and family have had to deal with miscarriages and Cynthia is a prime candidate given her conditions. I chuckle to myself as I wonder when this might have taken place. I know it wasn't this week as we just had a blowout and hadn't gotten to the make up sex yet. A car cutting in front of me, making a right hand turn from the left lane yanks my attention back to the immediate. I turn into the parking lot and help Cyn out of the car and up to the office.

The Dr.'s Office is under construction, fitting I think to myself. We sign in and wait. Tons of magazines to leaf through. I glance at the other women waiting, some obviously pregnant. Others strikingly slim. Everyone seems genuinely glad to be there. Finally they call us back and she takes us in to the sonogram room. Cyn crawls up on the table and she spreads the gel on her belly. Cyn laughs as the temperature tickles her. She waves her wand and points us to the image on screen. It looks like a black and white TV with horrible reception. As if it was in the basement and the rabbit ear antenna have been replaced by a wire hanger. And yet, I can make something out.

It looks like a peanut, no a potato. Wait! Did the potato wave? Is the peanut kicking? Oh My God! I can see a head, and hands and feet! Oh My Dear God there is something active and alive in Cynthia. Its swimming or dancing or something. Whatever it is its active!

BRAT-BRAT-BRAT-BRAT-BRAT-BRAT-BRAT-BRAT-BRAT

When I heard the heartbeat for the first time, time stood still. I heard her say something about it being 175 beats per minute and being firmly lodged in the left horn of the uterus. But that was way in the background. What was in the forground was only one thought. "Its True!" In that instant my life flashed before me. The first 21 years of my life I was an adult in kid clothing. The next 21 I flipped and enjoyed an extended second childhood. But in that instant I grew into an adult. In that moment when my son/daughter first let me know they were coming I left childhood behind and first embraced fatherhood.

I reached for Cynthia's hand and looked at her with eyes full of love. We are going to be parents!!! November 9 is our due date as we are already 10 weeks pregnant!!!! This amazing story just keeps getting more amazing. All births are special but this baby is truly a miracle. I'm still not sure I know why we have been so blessed. I can finally exhale as the truth settles in. We're having a baby. We're having a baby. We're having a baby!!!!!!